Submission of my First Manuscript.

Hello, dear reader and welcome to the (second) most awaited post of this blog.

Guess who just handed in her manuscript?

Go on,  guess!

That's right! This girl! The girl who has been leading you on for the past 6 months with tiny morsels of information regarding the book. After the multiple "almost done" and "just one more edit" I have finally submitted my manuscript for its initial submission!

I am SO happy and excited!

I'm not going to lie, dear reader, it's been tough fighting you guys off and keeping you at bay.

Here's why:

 There is a very strong romanticized conception of a writer (thank you to all of the chick flicks out there who have ruined it for the people who live in the real world). When I tell people that I am writing a book they usually imagine me sitting at my desk, looking out the window and typing gracefully with sufficient pauses, accentuated by a coy smile every now and then. These smiles are, of course, because of my characters when they say something witty or charming. Also, while I am writing, I have beside me a pipping cup of tea or coffee (butler's choice), an array of fruits and sandwiches and I am dressed in casual and comfortable attire.

Also, I start writing early in the day and continue to do so until dinner time, uninterrupted. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?

Now, I want to rip that image into pieces and replace it with the following pie chart:

That is the factual description of what my days as a writer consist of. I would, however, increase the crying section of the pie chart, but the rest is pretty accurate.

Note: Thank you best-memes.com. You guys really get me.

This, dear reader, is the craziness that has been consuming me for the past seven months. I have been at this book, tooth and nail. I've written it in good hair days and bad hair days. I have worked on it in sickness and in health. I have developed several bad habits like insomnia, weight gain, lack of exercise, lack of socialization, depression, talking to my self and refusing to touch the laundry until I reach my word count for the week (sorry hubster).

Moreover, the editing part of the book has been exhausting. I have gone over sentences for so long that the English language started to sound like gibberish and words like 'initial' and 'counting' began to look absurd in sentences. Even now I have the urge to replace them with some other words.

I write at odd times of the night and sometimes feel ridiculously upset when I want to write a scene out, but the words won't let me. I skip meals because I am too engrossed in my scenes and feel annoyed when I have to delete whole chapters. I'm constantly thinking about ways to change up the plot and spend hours on the internet, distracted by Facebook and other social media sites, trying to find a character's name. What I am trying to say, dear reader, is that some days the writing works and the other days it doesn't. Nothing is conventional about it: not the hours, not the pay and not the method.

But I love it. I cannot explain to you the joy I feel when I realize that I have arranged words in a sequence that I am happy with. It's like every other job. Some parts of it are hard and others work out okay. I'm not telling you this because I want your sympathy. I am telling you this because I want you to understand what happens behind the scenes.

It's hard, dear reader, The behind-the-scenes in a creative field is a very hard world to live in, especially if you know that there is a very high chance of you staying behind the scenes forever and never getting the appreciation for your hard work.

So, I would like to take this moment and appreciate all the hard work that happens behind the scenes. Just because we don't see it, know about it or understand it doesn't mean that it's not there. I would like to applaud every single individual hidden behind the curtain and tell him/her that you are just as important, fabulous and hardworking as the people shining on the red carpet.

Now, with the submission of my manuscript, I hope that with your love and support, dear reader,
I will be able to achieve my spot on the stage and make my way out from behind the curtain. And if I stumble and fall, my resolve will not waver because of the people who surround me and empower me everyday to fight for my dream. You were with me when I didn't have a blog or a manuscript and you supported me nonetheless. And for that I want to thank you. It is because of you that I will continue to fight and work hard to accomplish my dream.

As for you, dear reader, you are close to my heart: the listener of my deepest secrets and the wind beneath my wings. Thank you for standing by me silently and strongly and please do believe me that I cherish your time and your loyalty. Because without you, my words would be nothing more than floating letters. Thank you for weighing them down with meaning and love.

Until next time. Smiles up and doubts down.

isheeza

P.S: I'm out for the next two weeks on Europe Tours so no blog posts! Will update when I get back! =D

isheeza vs. successful authors

Hello, dear reader. First of all thank you for being so patient with me while I get myself together and through this hectic period in my life.

It's been a complicated few week filled with deadlines, postponed deadlines, piles of laundry, missed meals and sleepless nights. The only thing that keeps me going is you, dear reader, and the fact that it will all be worth it!

Look at us, heart to heart and knee deep in feels <3 p="">
So, how many of you squealed with delight when you saw the picture above and how many of you googled the people sitting behind me?

Let's split you guys 50/50 for argument's sake and continue with the post.

Tonight, dear reader, was solidification of what I want my future to entail. My journey to becoming an international best seller is not an easy one. I had to give up a few certain things like teacher's college and a well-paying job to stick with this risky business. There have been times when I have gotten impatient because of the lack of response from my audience or from the lack of results that I have produced, but tonight was a glimpse into my future. A glimpse that made me weak in the knees.

As I stood in line and waited for these authors to show up, I could hear the people behind me talking about their love for their favourite books, reciting dialogues they had memorized  and profess their love for these wonderful writers who had given them these stories. Next, my attention was drawn towards the set up and black, velvet rope which isolated the fans from the rest of the regular Indigo crowd.

These fans felt so privileged to be here just so that they could meet their idols and their heroes. Dear reader, I must be honest here and tell you that I wasn't one of the fans. I mean I've read all of the books that each of these authors have written and some of them are indeed brilliant, but that wasn't the reason I went.

I was there for selfish reasons. I went there for motivation, for inspiration and to see whether or not I was on the right track.

I stood there in line with the rest of the fans just as eager to meet this panel of successfully, brilliant authors. Finally, after hours of waiting, the authors (I cannot stop using that word, I'm loving it too much) were announced into the room and everyone started clapping and cheering.

I felt my heart beat a little faster. Do you know what I was thinking, dear reader? Can you guess?

I was picturing myself on that stage, as proud and as accomplished as the authors currently occupying it and I couldn't breathe. My dream was alive and it was happening right in front of me. All I had to do was walk a few feet, climb onto the stage and I would be there.

And that's how close I feel to becoming an international best selling author, dear reader. I can touch and taste the wonder of my dream and it is one of the best feelings I have ever experienced.

If all of that wasn't enough I got to ask these wonderful ladies a few questions about being an author. Their answers resonated with me and in that moment I felt like I was one of them, dear reader, me, isheeza! Can you imagine my delight?

It was by far one of the most exciting nights of my life. Tonight showed me the future and solidified me into an international best selling author. I will work hard, dear reader, and I will not give up. No matter how long it takes, one day someone else will be writing their blog about me and I hope that I can give them the same hope and inspiration that these lovely ladies have given me tonight.

Thank you.

Until next time, smiles up and doubts down.

isheeza

The Conflict at Heart

Hello, dear reader. Tonight's post is a little different and unconventional from your blogger. It circles around one of the biggest issues of today.

Palestine and Israel.

I have been getting a lot of requests to say something about the battle between Palestine and Israel and I've always skated around the issue, trying to stay away from it. Why?

Because people blame and point fingers a little too quickly. So I was a little, okay no; I was pretty hesitant.

And also because conflicts are never one person's fault. There's always blame to share and there is always fingers to point. It's so hard being at fault.

It really is.

I cannot judge a whole nation based on one person and, honestly speaking, I haven't done the in-depth research that will allow me to make a correct decision - if correct is the right word

But whatever is happening to the people in Gaza, and the images, videos and messages that show up on my social media feed is heart-wrenching and painful to watch.

No human should have to go through this pain.

 And so the following is a tribute to the hearts that are hurting, the voices that have been suppressed, the supporters around the world, and most importantly, it's a tribute to the strong hearts out there, those who face turmoil everyday and still find the strength to continue believing.

This poem was a present given to me by an individual (@sunndips), who understands the power of a clean heart.

As you read this poem I want you to imagine a world without humanity and to reflect and realize that this is what we are leading our future generation towards. This is what we are teaching them - may it be unwillingly.

***

After so many counts of being torn apart
I wonder if this beating is still my heart.
There must be a muffled ache inside
For I have realized, I'm quite yet alive.

All my fears are now suppressed.
Here's an emotion I had yet to express.
This blind rage must not permit a fool.
My heart has indeed become an unstoppable tool.

This hatred I've been taught so well.
This pain I've been blessed with...
This stain - you can't wash it away.
There is no forgiving - even if I may.

You must be blinded

You must be so lost

If you think that I’m your prized gold,

Instead, realize that I am now beyond your mighty hold.

Lying on this serene bed
I assure you, there is a beating in this heart.
It is you who has lost all feeling.

It is you who has a wicked soul.

You must be suffocating

You have no way out.
Indeed you are the wrongdoers
For you have wronged our innocent souls.

So fear a trial, written under your name

For we shall rise again.

I now wait, to finally close my eyes, one last time

For you will see that we will, indeed, rise once again.

#FreePalestine

#FreePalestine

#FreePalestine

It's time to gain back the humanity that has left our hearts, dear reader, because if we keep walking on the current path, our hearts will blacken and eventually die. 

And that is a world I would not want to exist in. 

isheeza

More than a Pretty Face.

Hello, dear reader. I hope your Monday was good and now you're ready to be comfortable and enjoy this post.

So, yesterday night was a Supermoon and it was beautiful! I spent the night sitting on a beach marveling at the beauty of the moon. It was breathtaking. The beauty of the moon never ceases to amaze me.

I have always been fascinated with the night, the stars and the moon. The amount of beauty that the night brings with it is boundless and I can never get enough of it.

As I sat there and enjoyed the view in front of me I couldn't help but stare at the moon; I was spellbound. I wondered if the moon knew how beautiful it was. How many people have been taking pictures of it, trying to capture its true beauty but, as always, have unwillingly failed. How many people have written quotes about the moon and its mesmerizing beauty?

Then it got me thinking if the moon even care about its beauty? Is that what it wanted - the fame? Did it want to be known for its beauty or did it want to known for something else?

The sun, on the other hand,  is known for giving life, being bright, and helping to sustain living things. We don't reduce the sun down to a beautiful object, instead we highlight its other qualities and appreciate them all. As humans, we understand that the sun is essential for our existence, but the moon is not like that. The moon is all about the looks and not the substance behind it.

Hence the quote.

So then it got me wondering if that's what the world has boiled down to: the looks and not the substance. It's all about the amount of likes on Facebook and Instagram; how many retweets you get on Twitter, and how many followers you have. It's not about the substance, its all about popularity and the fandom.

Isn't it?

We reduce people to who we think they are by the way they look, don't we dear reader? I reduced the moon to a pretty object and ignored its other qualities. We do the same with people everyday; we focus on what we see on the surface and we make that surface a reality.

Our society functions solely against the saying, "Never judge a book by its cover." We always judge the book by its cover and not only that, we spread the judgement amongst ourselves, convincing one another that this judgement is in fact the reality.

We need to change that.

When we see a chubby person we think of them as someone who eats unhealthy and doesn't exercise. That is just your perception - you don't know the story behind the looks. What if that person has a medial condition that promotes weight gain? What if all that person eats is 2 measly carrots all day and still can't lose the weight because of a medication's side effect? You don't know because you didn't bother finding out. You based your analysis merely on looks.

And its not just you, dear reader. It's also your neighbour, your friend, me, and most importantly, it's our society. It has become the norm: judgement based on looks. There are advertisements out there that focus on all of your physical attributes: eyes, lips, face, teeth, body, etc. The media presents you with numerous options that will allow you to make yourself "beautiful."

This kind of thinking needs to be stopped. Why?

Because this approach is not humane. Being a human is more about the emotional than about the physical. Do not reduce yourself to an object, dear reader, an object who is constantly bettering his/herself just so he/she is more appealing to others. That is a short-cut.

You need to put the work in your personality, talk to people, become someone, do community service, help a stranger and be confident. These are the attributes that you should be known for. You should be more than just a pretty face.

I want to make that change, dear reader. I want to stop the process of judgement based on looks. I want to wait for the person to speak, to act, to show me who they are and then draw my conclusion.

Maybe the moon isn't all about the beauty and maybe it wants to be more than a pretty face, but it cannot do that unless we give it a chance to prove otherwise. Whether it wants to be judged based on its appearance or its qualities, it's the moon's choice, dear reader - not ours.

Until next time, smiles up and doubts down.

isheeza

I Don't Make Mistakes.

Hello, dear reader. I hope you are doing well today. I must say I’ve missed you. It’s been a while since we’ve had our little pep talks, hasn’t it?

Well then, let’s not waste any more time and get right to it, shall we?

So, you remember how one of my previous posts talked about the concept of perfection? Well this post is connected to that one.  This post, dear reader, is about mistakes.

The word itself is a taboo.

Nobody likes to make mistakes. Not you and not I.

Because we are perfect.

It is so easy to be offended when someone corrects us. How dare they? How dare they think that you don’t know how to do your job? How dare they tell you that your brownies could be chewier? The nerve!

But, the question is, dear reader, why? Why do we get so offended and defensive when someone dares to correct us?

Because we are scared of being wrong. We are petrified of making mistakes.

The world makes too big of a deal of them.

And I think that because of this notion we are scared to try new ventures and to truly become someone that we want to. Instead, we tend to choose safe options. We follow people who have already walked the path and we walk it better, steering clear of their mistakes, careful not to make any of our own. 

And I don't blame you for that, dear reader.

Today's world demands results. Quick, effortless results. The people who hire you require you to be efficient in over 100 different qualifications without which you don't even get an entry-level position. 

So you lie about your qualifications and promise that you will be able to handle anything and everything that comes your way without a hitch.

There is no room for mistakes. 

The world expects you  to achieve perfection on your first try. How ridiculous does that sound to you right now? But it needs to be done and that is why you do it, dear reader. That is why you are so afraid to make mistakes, to take that chance, to have someone come in and tell you how do something better. 

But, you know what I realized? That everyone  makes mistakes. Some people are just better at hiding them than others. It is clear to me that making mistakes is inevitable. As a human you have no choice but to make mistakes. You have absolutely no say in the matter. Even if you have planned it all out, taken care of every detail and highlighted every precaution you will still make mistakes. 

You hear me, dear reader, you will still make mistakes. 

What should you do then? The answer is, of course, simple. 

You should make mistakes. You should not be afraid to admit that you are a human being who is more than capable of making mistakes. Admit to yourself that there are other people in this world who can do things better than you and despite your planning and meticulous attention to detail you will screw up at some point.  

The next step, dear reader, is to own up to your mistake. To accept the fact that you are human and that you can make mistakes and deal with them accordingly.  Make your mistakes, learn from them and don't repeat them. 

It's time to stop being afraid of petty things like mistakes and do what you want to do. Don't let the world dictate what you can and cannot do because you're afraid of slipping up. 

Show the world how it's done, dear reader, and own it. 

Until next time, smiles up and doubts down. 

isheeza

Be your own Hero!

Hello, dear reader. First of all I want to thank you! Thank you SO much! For all of your unconditional support, love and faithfulness.

I cannot believe that in just ONE WEEK my latest post, "Colour Outside the Lines," has reached over 500 views, which is INSANE!

I am so happy!

Also, I've launched a Facebook Page and have had over 100 likes in just 2 days. Thank you, thank you, and thank you!

(If you haven't liked my Facebook page, here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sheeza-Iqbal/336677806483304?ref_type=bookmark)

Like away!

Now that the formalities are out of the way, let's get to the heart-to-heart, shall we? Awesome!

So, earlier this month I've gotten a lot of comments from you, dear reader, on social media telling me that you enjoy my posts and you find them inspirational. You also told me that you once thought dreams were just for kids and that in the real world it is very hard to accomplish the magic one may find in his/her dreams.

To that I say, you're right.

Then, dear reader, you said to me that because of some circumstances it was hard for you to actualize your dream, but now when you have the time and the means you lack self-confidence. You are doubtful, scared, and worried.

And that, I can also understand.

Because to believe in yourself when no one else will is a challenging investment. It is easy to believe in something that is popular, safe, and certain. You are comfortable in blindly following someone else's footsteps because the implants are already there. You don't have to carve your own way, you don't have to worry about logistics and most importantly you don't have worry about the option of failure.

But that is not what faith is all about.

Faith is to believe with your heart that which is unseen.

It is, to a great extent, about the heart more than it is about the mind.

You can be logical and calculate pros and cons, but at the end of the day it is what gets you in the feels.

Now, I'm not asking you to take a blind leap.  Do your research, do your homework, understand what you are getting yourself in to and then WORK HARD.

Don't just sit there and expect things to happen. Do your part in preparing yourself and make things happen.

But when it is time for you to take the leap, let go of the security, the safety and the certainty and do it.

Call on your faith and do it. Even if you are alone.

Don't let the doubts of tomorrow hinder the success of today. You're much stronger then your doubtful whispers let on and more capable than the evaluations of society.

Of course, all of this is a lot easier on us when we have someone. We all want someone to believe in us, to support us, to love us and have confidence in us that we are capable and that we can  succeed.

But, why can't that person be you? Why you so afraid to take a chance on yourself? It is unfair of you, dear reader, to ask others to do what you cannot do for yourself.

Become that support, that confidence and that pillar of strength for yourself.

Become your own hero.

Because once you've accomplished that, dear reader, you will realize the power of your potential and become invincible. And that is a pretty cool place to be.

Until next time, smiles up and doubts down.

isheeza

Colour Outside the Lines

Hello, dear reader, how are you doing on this amazing, moonlit night?  Seriously Toronto, I forgive you for the harsh winter you put me through for the moonful nights that you are sending my way. The moon looks picture perfect tonight!

It's full and a little hazy. The dark, thin clouds have slithered over it, enunciating the mystical and the magical potential of the moon.

It's breathtaking!

The only thing missing is a werewolves with abs.

Haha, I joke (not really).

Anyways, dear reader, the writing update for you is that I am currently STILL in the middle of editing, which means two things. One: It's a lot of action for me and two: everyone else just sees me parked in front of a computer screen all day, typing aimlessly.

But it's not aimless.

I am changing so many things: sentences, dialogues, transitions, character development etc.

So you see it's a lot of work for me and I can vouch for the progress that I am doing, but you, dear reader, you see nothing.

All you see is a promise of a great, upcoming novel which will be released sometime early next year and all you can do is wait for it.

Wait for me to produce some tangible results for you. Fear not, dear reader, you're not the only one waiting. The people in my life, my family, my friends, my students, and my impatient dreams, we are all waiting for the day where I will stand in front of you with a visible copy of my novel.

And that is where trouble sits in.

People start suggesting that while "I wait" for my novel to be published I should "do something with my life" and it is frustratingly hard for me to explain to you that I am doing something with my life. I am writing.

The thing with creative processes is, dear reader, that they come at their own pace and their success depends on your approval. I cannot rush my words, I cannot simply show you something that is yet to be, because I need time to create it and perfect it to the image that is in my head.

It is hard for people to accept that. They want immediate results, results they can see. What you cannot see is my constant movement with social media, my ideas for my second book, my editing process, my publishing concerns, my writer's block, my 3 am editing, my research for an unknown industry, and the list goes on and on.

It's stressfully nerve wrecking.

And it is probably why people are so scared to detach themselves from conventional jobs.

 Don't get me wrong, we need the doctors, teachers, lawyers, engineers, nurses, consultants and dentists. They are absolutely essential to us and we need them to tend to our daily needs. As long as the human exists he/she will need to be taken care of and conventional professions provide that.

Creative professions, on the other hand, come after the basic needs have been met. For example, I read for leisure. I will not be concerned with Lisa Genova's upcoming novel if I don't have a roof over my head or I will not enjoy reading her brilliant words if my gums are bleeding. Therefore, it is safer for me to take the conventional route than the creative one because conventional will always be in demand.

But, some people are not conventional. They are born to colour outside the lines and despite trying to fit themselves into conventions they cannot do so. And then comes the really sucky part, dear reader, they feel like failures.

They will be scared to be creative, to dare to be different.

I know I am.

So, what gets me through? What keeps me fastened to my dream?

The answer is simple: Love, support and belief.

And all of that comes primarily from me. I love myself for creating these blogs for you, I am supportive of myself when I have bad writing days and I believe in my dreams no matter what anyone says.

Of course, family love is always a bonus, but the point is, dear reader, you cannot expect someone to take a chance on you when you won't take a chance on yourself. Your hesitance, your fear and your lack of belief shows. It really does.

You need to let go and invest in yourself.

Trust yourself, dear reader, and strengthen this belief inside of you: You have the power to be unconventionally successful and you will do all that it takes to get there.

Stop comparing yourself to conventional success because creative success is measured differently. It takes longer to be actualized.

So tell me, dear reader, are you worth the wait?

And if the answer is yes, then share this blog, and go and take the first step towards your dreams.

Because, trust me, dear reader, you are worth it.

isheeza