Feeling Shady!

Hello dear reader. It is Friday. That means a whole week has passed and my editing still remains to a minimum. To be fair, I have been substituting as a teacher and so that pretty much takes away my editing time.

So, it seems that the editing process is going to be longer than expected.

But that's okay.

Today, I took a ferry to the Toronto Islands, away from the city, from people, the expectations looming over my head, and the stress of daily life. It was just a calm day spent under a tree with fat robins, then a long walk to scout the area, then some time spent on the sandy beach and finally the sunset as I rode the ferry back to home sweet home.

If you haven't gone, dear reader, you must! You're missing out otherwise!

This mini vay-cay (check out the snazzy slang!) that I took today made me realize something.

Sometimes dear reader, it's okay to take a break and relax (according to contrary belief). I have been working at this novel since late December 2013. I have been obsessing over it tirelessly to achieve results that will prove to me and those around me that I can become a published author.

It's been hectic, dear reader, and exhausting. I feel like I am in a race against time and that I have to squeeze every ounce  of what I have into my baby (The Sky Realm) so that I can prove my worth.

That's kinda sad, isn't it?

Out there, on Ward Island, away from the city, I took the time to enjoy my trip. I didn't constantly check my phone. I didn't take a picture of everything that crossed my path. I didn't document every second of my trip.

I enjoyed my trip the old fashioned way.

I walked, I saw, I heard, I smelt, I tasted and I felt the moments by being completely invested in them. The memories that I have of today are all tucked away inside my head.

Instead of worrying about the future and capturing the events of my visit, I simply enjoyed it by just being there.

And if I missed something on the island, I didn't fret about it.

What I realized, dear reader, is that sometimes it's okay to kick back and relax. We should not always be obsessed with producing mass results to satisfy society's cravings.

Easier said than done? I agree. But, I am going to try.

For now, I am going to enjoy my time as a teacher, while working on my novel edits. I may not get through a lot, but that's okay.

You know why? Because this is my journey, so I get to set the pace. And I've decided to enjoy the walk instead of rushing through it and missing out on the canonical moments that may define me as a person.

Take a deep breath, dear reader, and slow down.

You are the producer of your own show.

isheeza

Damsel in Distress

Hello, dear reader, I hope your Monday is going for you as all Mondays go.

So, today's post is inspired by true events on a Toronto subway. Yes, dear reader, true events.

On Sunday afternoon I went out with my sisters to an event. We decided to take the subway on our way back. The subway was pretty empty when we all piled in it so, we made our self home.

When the subway stopped at a station, a drunk man walked in and my sister caught his eye. He spent the next 5 minutes saying things that I care not to repeat. The gist of it was, "not to let someone make you do something you don't want to do."

Despite being weirded out by the disturbing man in the subway my thoughts went to my blog. I realized I really wanted to use this situation to my advantage, thanks  sis!

His "gist" started making me think about the "damsel in distress" situation. About the fact how men feel the need to rescue women from certain situations and prove themselves as Prince Charming.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't mind a little chivalry from a guy. It's an endearing trait for me, but what I do mind is the lack of confidence that women have for themselves.

I think that every woman has a potential that she needs to achieve. A potential that is supported and nurtured by the her talents. You, dear reader, as a woman, need to make something out of yourself. An identity, a career, a recognition that solely belongs to you. I'm working on mine, hoping that it will help me establish the identity I have been craving for!

What about you, dear reader?

Don't limit yourself to the image others conjure up for you. Find an image of yourself that you want.

Find it, create it and own it because at the end of the day, dear reader, the true appreciation of chivalry comes only after a woman understands her true worth.

isheeza

Cut the Flab!

Hello, dear reader, I am so stoked for today's post!

Isn't the title for today's blog post fantastic? Cut the Flab! How genius is that?

I cannot tell you how sorry I am for not coming up with these words on my own. I actually borrowed them from a twittler @Clive_SJohnson (who you can stalk on twitter and read up on his brilliant poetry. The man has a way with words! He does not disappoint! SO check him out!)

So I was scrolling down his news feed because I stalk him too (obviously!) and came across these words! The minute I read these words I knew I had to have them! And so I messaged him and he so graciously gave me permission to use them.

These three words describe my current situation perfectly. These past new days that is exactly what I have been doing, cutting down the flab. Now before you get a disturbing image of a flabby stomach on yours truly, allow me to explain.

I am not talking about body flab, which in truth needs to be addressed as well. Seriously, all this sitting around and face stuffing is not working out for me. If I have to hear one more comment like, "Oh, Sheeza! Look at you! So healthy after marriage!" I am going to start questioning my attractiveness (yeah, right! Dove all the way! #selfesteem).

Healthy is the term that brown people use when they want to say, "You're getting fat" nicely. With complete disregard for their own body weight of course.

Brown Aunties deserve a blog to themselves, someone seriously needs to get on that.

Instant fame!

So, where was I? Oh yeah, as you know, dear reader, my novella is now complete (still not over it) and I am now in the horrid process of editing. I am really not built for it I tell you, but it's part of the job so I have to suck it up and come through.

Editing a novel is much like working out. Point A being I do not enjoy either, happy coincidence? I think not! Now, onto my analogy.

Sometimes there are extra words here and there that have to be removed (like flab) and then sometimes you come across a paragraph that needs work (like turning fat into muscle). It's a daily commitment and you have to make sure that you are hitting your target areas well! If you slack off on certain areas then they stick out like sore thumbs and everyone points them out.

And, of course, like everyone has a problem area that doesn't go away (arms, stomach, thigh, butt?), I do too and mine is commas. There are so many rules to them and they are so unexpected! But I'm working on it. Every day, so that when I have a finished product it all but wows everyone.

So I'm pretty much aiming for a fitness model.

And I know, dear reader, that is a very tough aim and sometimes in life it doesn't matter how hard you try, if things don't want to work out for you, they don't. Life kinda sucks like that.

But you should never stop trying, never stop targeting those problem areas, working on them every, single day just so that one day you can stand in front of the mirror and see the fitness model in you.

As for me, I'm going to take my own advice and get myself back to editing. Maybe even throw in a little treadmilling this week, fingers crossed.

Keep smiling!
isheeza

Now what?

Hello, dear reader, I have some GREAT news! I have officially finished the first draft of my novel!

*Celebration time, come on!*

So, after I got over the fact that I actually finished a WHOLE story, I realized that everyone wants to know what's next, including me.

Apparently you can't just send your first draft willy nilly to whoever you want and, get this, they don't publish you on the spot.

Ridiculous.

I have to now edit my 61k words (groan) and then proofread it.

I have NO idea how I'm going to get through all of that. I mean, this was the first piece of writing I not only stuck with but finished. Isn't that enough?!

Apparently not. Sniff.

I have no idea how I am going to do it, dear reader, I really don't.

And to make matters worse people, instead of applauding my four months of vigorous effort, are challenging me with my manuscript, demanding I tell them what I can hope to accomplish with a roughly written manuscript.

Somebody hold my hijab, I'm going in.

So do you know what I am going to do tonight, dear reader? I am going to ignore all of the questions people are throwing my way, go out and celebrate my accomplishment with the love of my life and edit the words that have flown from the genius that is my mind later. Hold the thunderous applause until I finish, please.

Tomorrow will mark the week that I begin editing and proofreading and after that, dear reader, I will move onto something new. Something wonderful that will bring me one stop closer to my goal and I suggest that you do the same. In a pessimistic world, optimism is a breath of fresh air that everyone needs. Including the pessimist.

*Cue the applause*

isheeza

Nothing EVER goes according to plan!

Hello, dear reader.

Today is the day when I promised my 60k and the end of my novel to all of you!

Although I have reached 60K (yays!) I am still not done my novel. Why? Because nothing ever goes according to plan.

Now, I am very aware of the fact that sometimes in life, you can plan and plan and plan but if things don't want to work out, they won't! No matter what you do.

I kinda went in with this mindset for my wedding preparations. I didn't obsess over the center pieces, I didn't cry if the detailing of the background curtains weren't what I picked and I didn't mind when my background music wasn't loud enough to announce my grand entrance as a bride.

Because I knew that things don't always go according to plan.

So what changed this time, isheeza?

I have a confession to make: is it weird that getting married wasn't the fairy tale I've always dreamed of but becoming a published author is? This is the dream that I obsess over. Where I hover over the details tirelessly, night after night, until I am satisfied with them. This is the dream where I can be a meanie and a monster if things don't happen the way I want them to happen (I'm talking about the events in my book. Like me being upset with my characters, nuff said, right?) and this is where I plan how every event related to the actualization of this dream will happen (Inshallah!).

So you can imagine my disbelief and terror when I reached my 60K and my character still had a little bit more to say.

I am in tears at the moment, dear reader, ranting about what a catastrophe this situation is to my cat.

But the words are still coming and there is nothing I can do to stop them.

So, what happens now?

I continue to write and hope that my characters decide that they've had enough for one book.

I would love a good night's sleep where I don't have to worry about my characters and their problems.

Yes, I do realize I sound a bit more than crazy right about now, but this is what the voices in your head do to you, dear reader, so be careful who you let in there.

I've always like the quiet ones, who lurk in the back and don't want to socialize with anyone ;)

Until Monday, isheezers!

Have yourself a fabulous long weekend!

isheeza

Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs.

Hello, dear reader. Happy Monday! Today I am an equal balance of happy and annoyed.

Happy because I am currently working on the climax of my novella, which is (spoiler alert) so exciting that I can't stop rubbing my hands together and laughing like a maniac. Its insane how fast my hands move over the keyboard as I delight myself with villainous threats and witty remarks.

Below is a picture of my face when I imagine my characters thanking me for giving them such brilliant dialogues.

I am such a delight. 

Now onto the part where I tell you that I am annoyed and what any of this mumbo jumbo (no one ever says that anymore, iSheeza!) has to do with Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs.

Well, I am annoyed because I don't want to leave my writing world, but I have to in order to participate in the real world.

Ugh. Boring!

But I have to, because life goes on and you have to keep up with it. That means you gotta eat, sleep, cook, do laundry, bathe (which is a SUPER important one), do the dishes, feed the cat, clean the cat's litter, vacuum, broom, mop and dust.

Now, I'm not saying that I do all of these things in one day, but exaggeration is the essence of drama, so why not?

Anyways, as I was saying: The everyday life activities force me to leave my writing behind and focus on other things. Which is why I need the 7 Dwarfs! I want to assign each and every one of them a task from my list and be forever content to write.

Interruptions, dear reader, are SO annoying and trivial! They test my patience. And on some days there is an overload of interruptions because writing isn't a career in the brown world.

When I introduce myself as an author, first I have to explain to everyone what that exactly means. I used to call myself a writer, but then the brown community started taking that literally. As in I sit and write randomly on a piece of paper with a pen.

I'll wait while you smash something with a pan.

Never again, dear reader, never again.

Naturally the next question is what I have published and when I say, "Oh, nothing yet, but Inshallah soon." I've lost their attention and they start convincing me about how I am wasting my life away. My parents sit there on the couch and nod enthusiastically as they start comparing me to random doctors, engineers. Basically they are these perfect human beings who do everything perfectly.

Where are these people? I've lived 25 years, dear reader, and I have yet to meet one!

From the younger generation, I get the, "aww, that's cute."

Then I need a knife.

The thing is dear reader, that, unfortunately, no one will back you up until you've made it big.
No one.

And that's why  you gotta do is make sure that you're always backing yourself up because that is the only way to come out shinning.

Happy Monday, dear reader, Happy Monday!

iSheeza

The Finish Line!

Er. Ma. God. Dear Reader. Er. Ma. God.

I feel like I am starting to enjoy short forms for two reasons: One, they make everything sound SO much more dramatic than its  meant to be and two, my brain is FRIED.

In University when I was asked to write a 10 page essay I almost fainted and labeled such an action as, "IMPOSSIBLE!"

But now, here I am writing more than 10 pages willingly.

I really hope Professor Horton isn't reading this blog, otherwise I'm going to be hearing a lot more than a who.

So, anyways, dear reader, as I was saying. Er. Ma. God!

I have officially reached 50,089 words. Me. The girl who thought 5000 words on a topic was a death sentence!

I am so brain dead and exhausted that I've resorted to short forms when I communicate with anyone who is not a character in my book. Just the other day I said to my mother, "Mom, what's the haps? Want me to help you get on the din-din?"

Needless to say my mother was short of smacking me with her always handy rolling pin.

I'm going INSANE, dear reader. I've reduced my sleeping hours from a healthy 15 to an unbearable 14. It's a really hard adjustment, but I feel like I can't sleep unless I write down the scene formulating inside my head.

Writing, writing, writing. That is all that I am doing.

My husband has seemed to notice this as well and was concerned for my mental well being and I all but jumped out of the window with enthusiasm. Do you want to know why, dear reader?

Because in the business of creativity, crazy and brilliant are two sides of the same coin.

In other words I will be accepting my Nobel Peace Prize for Literature next year! Boo ya!

I'm almost there, dear reader, I'm writing my climax and then the ending and the goal is that by next Friday my blog post is going to say, "Mission Accomplished!"

You want to know why?

Because I'll be done, that's why! The goal for this novella is 60, 000 words, dear reader, and after I have reached and passed that mark by next week, I will be proud to say that the first draft of The Sky Realm is now finished!

I'm excited, dear reader, are you?

P.S: My agent told me to say that the title of my book is copyrighted! Because it totally is!
And by my agent I mean Google =) Yay!

iSheeza

Stolen Goods

So, someone stole my iPhone today. It was a 2 minute process.

I put my phone on the table, walked away, remembered I left my phone, came back and it was gone.

Despite my countless efforts of tracking, searching, asking I was unable to retrieve it, dear reader.

Tear.

The thing is, dear reader, I understand the value of the things that I have (thankfully) and so I really take good care of my belongings. I had never lost anything this expensive, ever, in my life and this was a real blow.

The fact that I lost such an expensive valuable was a depressing thought, but what really disturbed me was the fact that someone was so comfortable with taking something that did not belong to them.

Now, I understand how silly I sound. In the world where the news is all about murders, kidnapping, stabbing, assaults and countless horrific crimes surely a phone being stolen is no big deal, right?

That is exactly what tore me inside. The fact that it is normal to take an action without considering the effects of that action on the other person, the consequences, none of it matters.

And that, dear reader, sucks!

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you're about to do something, don't think about yourself and how you much you want to participate in that action, but on the impact that your action will have on the individual in question.

As for me, I'm off to wallow away in depression and sadness, making a voodoo doll of my approximate offender.

iSheeza

Step up, Step up!

This picture belongs to my friend. She painted the words on by herself on her bedroom wall. She painted it on to motivate herself.

In the world of technology and internet we find it very hard to participate in the outside world. I myself am most comfortable behind a laptop screen, stalking you guys on Facebook, twitter and my recent discovery, Google plus. But when I have to participate in the outside world, with people and interact with them, I feel naked. I feel exposed. Where is my veil? (I'm referring to my laptop screen).

Is it not easier to talk to someone through text then to actually call them, dear reader? Aren't you most comfortable hiding behind technology than going out and actually doing stuff? And by going out I don't mean going out to the mall and checking in on Facebook with an Instagram picture of your food. What I mean, dear reader, is that you going out and doing something that matters.

Life changing stuff.

Things like donating, participating in charity events, helping a friend with moving, doing somebody a favour. Where are all those actions?

I think those actions are disappearing, diminishing into the night sky. And do you know what happens when these action go away, dear reader?

Humanity goes away.

 How will you feel humane if you don't experience compassion, kindness, laughter, joy or empathy for another human being? These emotions have to be felt first hand, dear reader, by your heart.

I know, its all really boring! Giving up your entire day to spend it for something like a clothing drive, but I cannot stress enough that it is necessary! My friend here has done exactly that and inspired people. She is a young woman in her twenties who chooses to spend her time in creating charity events, doing things that will benefit her and the people around her. Here are just a few things that she has done in this year alone:

a) Participated in a "Attitude of Gratitude" charity event.
b) Planted trees
c) Climbed 147 floors of the C.N. Tower
d) Performed for an event that protests women violence.

She chooses to do these things because she feels the blessing in them.

Because she is blessed with good health, she participates in marathons. Because she cares about her future, she plants trees. Because she understands that she is privileged to live the kind of life style she is living, she donates. Because she understand pain she participates in protests.

My list of becauses can go on and on dear reader. I could write paragraphs about this individual, but now this isn't about her.

It's about you.

Feel the power inside of you, of what you can accomplish and do as a human.

So, dear reader, the question remains. Will you and I step up?

iSheeza

https://www.facebook.com/shamshashamsy
http://shamshashamsy.tumblr.com/post/84234430430/how-to-deal-with-a-mind-that-wont-shut-up